You Want A Bag For That?


May 12, 2010 by esarsea

I don’t get it.

I will often stop at a convenience store on my way to work in the morning for coffee and some lunch items. Depending on what looks good and/or how hungry I am (and if I grab a couple diet cokes), I’ll sometimes have 5 or 6 different items. I’ll approach the counter like a amatuer circus performer; balancing these items on one forearm against my chest while I hold my coffee in the other hand. I will sometimes just let them tumble off my arm onto the counter while trying not to spill hot coffee on myself.

Invariably, the clerk will awkwardly ring up my purchases, hand me my change and say, “You want a bag for that?” WTF???? I feel like saying, “Oh no thanks, I’ll just try to stuff all this shit into MY FUCKING PANTS POCKETS YOU LAZY FUCKING MORON!!!” but thankfully my adrenline spikes are of short duration and I say, “Yes, please.”

The weird thing is that it’s not an isolated incident. It happens at numerous convenience stores and with several different clerks. It’s as if they ask me out of obligation only; hoping I will say no so they don’t have to expend any extra effort on my behalf.  Each time it happens I get closer to losing it. I think it’s having a cumulative effect on me. I fear that one morning soon some poor kid is going to be the unlucky one who pays the price for all those who came before him.

Or maybe by writing this – and venting here – I’ll be better able to continue biting my tongue. Let’s hope so.

I feel a little better now.

Sort of.


3 thoughts on “You Want A Bag For That?

  1. torqdog says:

    Breath in….. breath out.
    Breath in….. breath out.
    Harness your Chai, Grasshopper.

    Don’t you feel better now?!!! ;-)

    Maybe some of these convenience stores are trying to save money by forcing clerks to ask the question. But you’re right about them at least showing that two brain cells are firing off simultaneously and not asking such a stoopid question when it’s obvious you could use a bag.

    Will that be paper or plastic Sir?

  2. Adam says:

    Do it.. I want to be there so I can laugh my ass off. Face the facts tho most these people couldn’t handle a job at McDonald’s much less a convenience store clerk.

    The store up the road has a kid thats looks so “baked” it’s not even funny. He was fired for letting dirty trucks in the car wash. Two months later he was rehired higher then ever. I’m just blown away he can even see his eyes are almost shut and so red the stoplight on the corner is jealous.

  3. hugh craig says:

    L M F A O!!!! GET’EM DAD

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